The Art of Making Love to a Woman Pdf
"Part of the modern ideology of love is to assume that love and sex ever get together," Susan Sontag observed in her fantastic meditation on love, sexual practice, and the world between, "and probably the greatest problem for human beings is that they only don't." And nonetheless we nonetheless refer to sex equally "making love."
In 1936, the year my grandmother was built-in, a man by the name of Pietro Ramirez Sr. took that delightful vintage guide to the art of kissing published the same twelvemonth one step further and released How to Make Love — an illustrated compendium of advice on "the secrets of wooing," featuring the same amusingly dated ideas on gender norms, social etiquette, and conventions of courtship. Ramirez boasts in the foreword:
Although we alive in a modern age, nosotros seem unable to throw off the yoke of Puritanism. [Older books] concerned themselves with the language of flowers as practiced between lovers, the language of fans, the language of parasols and, in fact treatises on the symbolic language of everything but the language of beloved.
What has been vitally necessary is a volume written past a modern writer for modern people who alive and beloved in a modern mode.
Clearly, of class, non that mod, for the advice is restricted to the era's only definition of love as heterosexual love. But therein lies the prescience of this vintage gem: It offers a meta-reminder that much similar we run into the "progressive" ideas of the 1930s as laughably outdated and restrictive, our present conventions near matters of the centre and body — besides as our efforts to legislate those — volition one day go equally dated. Ramirez puts things in perspective:
The restrictions that bound u.s. in the past, in the thing of social etiquette, accept all been washed abroad past the cleansing waters of time. Not many years ago, our girls were warned to go along their young men from placing their artillery around the seat of the buggy when riding or else suffer the ignominy of being classed equally fallen women. Nowadays, we look upon such things more calmly. With the change in social customs at that place has been a need for a book which dealt with the art of honey. This book is intended to aid you in your love-making.
One of the gifts of retrospect is precisely that: Nosotros come to run into the natural arc of ideas as they pass from scandalous propositions to cultural givens to outdated norms, and in the process we remember that even the ideas that rile our greatest political convictions today will i mean solar day go fossils of progress in a more evolved culture. Here, for instance, is what Ramirez writes in the opening chapter, which considers the eternal question of what love is — a particularly emblematic fossil of cultural evolution today, in the age of marriage equality:
Marriage is the culmination of dearest. Ii people should never autumn in love with each other unless they sympathise thoroughly that their honey for each other is to eventuate into a time to come marriage.
Carry in mind that in 1936 America, this automatically precluded interracial couples from always falling in love, since the interracial marriage ban wasn't lifted until 1967, too equally same-sexual practice couples, who just merely won the legal right to marry in 2013'due south historic ruling.
Ramirez argues that the sole purpose of marriage, and thus of love, is procreation and that "the nascence of a child demands that homo and adult female participate in the creation." Oh, just it gets amend:
Man was created strong. Woman was created weak. Therefore, it is up to the human to protect his woman. Woman is then physically constituted that she needs human being's strong protection.
(Ramirez, plain, never met whatsoever of these ladies — or these, for that matter.)
From this basic "given," Ramirez argues, springs every deviation between human being and adult female. For instance:
There is the difference in the attitude of man and woman toward the culmination of love. Woman, although she is just as anxious for love as man, must never betray her anxiety. She must e'er be passive. Man, information technology is, who must be the agile partner. It is he who makes dear to woman. He chases the woman who was made to be chased. The success of love depends entirely on the understanding of this bones relationship.
[…]
That accounts for woman's coyness, her shyness. That also accounts for her sometimes casuistic habits of putting her man off. She realizes intuitively that, in order to make herself more desirable to her man, she must make herself less accessible. She must, in other words, plant the chaser-chased relationship between them.
And just to be sure we got the point, he adds:
A reversed relationship, that is where the adult female is the physical superior of the human, is non only devoid of love just is ludicrous. … If the strong-weak mental attitude between man and woman is kept upward throughout the entire flow of lovemaking, courting and marriage, the result will be a happy wedlock that will conduct fruit in dear, children and marital elation.
To be sure, not all of it is outrageously misguided — there is, as in all antiquated ideologies, a kernel of eternal homo truth in some of Ramirez's theories. He is, for instance, skeptical of the mythology of love at starting time sight:
It is in the agreement of each other that true love is born and nurtures and lives. For that is the underground of a lasting honey, the i word: agreement. Only when there is this agreement, this common sympathy for each other, can true love role. … And then information technology can be seen that the love which grows out of a long friendship is more desired than the love which is generated all of a sudden at first sight. If, after the sudden outburst of commencement love, the lovers realize that they must larn to know each other thoroughly and they go nearly learning each other, then their honey volition exist lasting. But, experience has proven that, normally, those lovers who are catapulted into a lover matter at first sight are usually those who are quick-tempered. A hair-trigger emotion such equally dearest at first sight can only be possessed by people with pilus-trigger temperaments.
Some other whiff of sense comes from a related department on embracing imperfection, titled "To Err is Man":
Agreement your lover is something that is required of you if your love affair is to go on to spousal relationship. Realize that no one is perfect and that each of usa is likely to err. If the faults irritate you lot, remember, try to call up the things about your lover that have made him so lovable to you. Balance of the bad with the good. See the large things only and let the little things go hang. Or else, if yous notice some shortcomings in your lover that disturb you, retrieve back on your own shortcomings and realize that, the things almost him that are annoying to you are just as bad equally the things about you lot that are annoying to him.
Ramirez goes on to offer a diagnostic examination for how to know you're in love, a set of guidelines for introducing your lover to your parents, and various other how-to's of romance, until he gets to the down-and-dirty: In a section titled "How to Arroyo a Girl," he presents a guide to that coveted first osculation:
In kissing a girl whose experience with osculation is limited, it is a good affair to piece of work up to the kissing of the lips. Only an arrant fool seizes hold of such a girl when they are comfortably seated on a sofa, and all of a sudden shoves his face up into hers and smacks her lips. Naturally, the first thing he should do is to accommodate it then that the girl is seated confronting the arm of the sofa while he is at her side. In this way, she cannot edge away from him when he becomes serous in his attentions. This done, on some pretext or other, such as a gallant effort to adapt the cushions behind her (tenderness, you see) he manages to insinuate his arm, start around the back of the sofa and so, gradually, around her shoulders.
If you suspect this might exist getting dangerously shut to engagement-rape territory, agree the premature evaluation — we're getting there:
If she flinches, don't worry. If she flinches and makes an outcry, don't worry. If she flinches, makes an outcry and tries to become up from the sofa, don't worry. Hold her, gently but firmly, and abate her fears with kind, reassuring words. … Yet, if she flinches, makes an outcry, a loud stentorian outcry, mind you, and starts to scratch your face, and so start to worry or start to go yourself out of a bad situation. Such girls are not to be trifled with … or kissed.
Provided no face up-scratching has taken place, this is what yous should do:
Tell her she is cute. Then take a deep sniff of the perfume in her pilus and annotate on it. Tell her that the odor is like "heady wine." Tell her that her pilus smells like a garden of roses. Tell her anything, but be sure to tell her something complimentary. This done, it is only a natural matter for you to desire to sink your nose deeper into her hair so that you tin get the full do good of its boutonniere.
Then, time for "The Technique of Kissing":
Now is your chance! The moment you feel the tip of your nose touch her scalp, purse your lips and kiss her, the while you inhale a deep breath of air that is redolent with the exquisite odor of her hair. Information technology is then simply a few inches to her ear. Touch the rim of her ear with your lips in a sort of brushing move. Exhale gently into the delicate shell. Some women react passionately to this subtle act. Brush past her hither in this way once more and annotation her reaction. If she draws her head away, return to the pilus and sniff luxuriously of information technology. And then settle back to her ear, the while you murmur "sweet, airy nothings" into it. From the ear to her neck is merely another few inches. Let your lips traverse this distance speedily and so dart into the nape of the neck and, with your lips well pursed, nip the peel there, using the aforementioned gentleness as would a cat lifting her precious kittens.
Then, with a series of little nips, bring your lips effectually-from the nape of her neck to the curving, swerve of her jaw, close to the ear. Gently osculation the lobe of her ear. But be sure to return to the tender softness of her jaw. From and then on, the way should be clear to you. Nuzzle your lips along the soft, featherlike expanse until you achieve the corner of her lips. You volition know when this happens, because, suddenly, you volition experience a strange stiffening of her shoulders under your arm. The reason for this is that the lips constitute one of the main erogenous zones of the body.
All right. Yous have subtly kissed the corner of her mouth. Don't hesitate. Push on further to more than pleasurable spots. Ahead of y'all lies that which had been promised in your dreams, the tender, luscious lips of the daughter you lot beloved. But don't sit idly by and spotter them quivering.
Just earlier letting young lovers get carried away in the quivering — in the attainment of "the culmination of love: connubial bliss" — Ramirez reminds them of the ultimate goal:
Ane affair yous must always remember: dear, above all, builds for time to come happiness. And this hereafter happiness is a successful marriage. Aught should be done in this pre-marital state that might hurt the matrimony relationship. Remember that ahead of you lies a life together, a life that volition be built on a happy home, salubrious children, congenial companionship and, above all, loyalty. And, always, in the back of your head, while you are courting, while you are kissing, while you are fondling each other, while yous are enjoying each other, you should have the thought of this idea of edifice for permanence.
Ramirez as well offers some practical advice on a crucial element of courtship — the love letter:
Most men consider it effeminate nowadays to write mushy, gushy love messages but they are absolutely essential.
[…]
In writing a beloved letter, endeavour to imagine that your loved ane is seated side by side to you on the sofa and that you are whispering sweetness nothings into her ear. So, instead of speaking those things to her, write them down on a paper (never typewrite them because blazon is also impersonal for as personal a missive as a dear letter). Don't write the letter as though information technology were a guidebook. Don't be also brief. Go into complete detail about the things you've done and seen. And try, ever, when possible to connect up those things with something parallel that happened to the two of y'all.
Despite the dated and outlandish assertions, still, Ramirez ends on a surprisingly sensible and timeless (albeit grammatically questionable) notation:
When you are in honey, ask yourself whether there is anything about the graphic symbol of your mate that might hurt your relationship in years to come. If you can truthfully and honestly say "no" to this question, then you lot volition have before you a lifetime of happiness such as the most richest of millionaires has ever experienced.
Overwhelmingly amusing, frequently bloodcurdling, and occasionally astute, How to Make Love is well worth the used-books hunt. Complement it with another vintage treat on mastering a different aspect of the art of courting, The Seducer's Cookbook, and so revisit the equally amusing The Art of Kissing.
Source: https://www.themarginalian.org/2014/01/15/how-to-make-love-1936-pietro-ramirez/